haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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