using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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