I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
