You're earring is so big in my mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
