Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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