Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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