The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
