I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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