Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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