His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
