Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize