Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
