hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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