oh god the rape fog is back!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
