she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
