I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
