belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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