Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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