why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
