At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize