Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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