The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize