Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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