Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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