feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
