did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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