There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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