I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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