is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
