im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So many bounce houses so little time
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
