i jhust puked up my retainher.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
