i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
