Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize