Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
