We need to rekindle our bromance
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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