he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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