Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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