Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
