I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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