Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
