I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
