His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize