I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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