Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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