i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
