so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's like iHOP with fire
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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