My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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