btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
