There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
