Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize