So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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