What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
