she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
