HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
