whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
