We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
